Posted by
EWRoss on Monday, October 26, 2009 7:00:00 AM
I've decided to come clean this
week and reveal my enemies list. Like the White House, I will continue to deal
with the people on my list, but I won't allow their evil deeds to get in the
way of my providing honest information the the American people.
1. People who design automated
telephone answering systems for businesses, especially those who make it
impossible to ever speak with a human being.
2. City governments who use
speed cameras, especially those in 15 mph zones.
3. Companies that only
manufacture men's clothing in even numbered sizes.
4. Stores that only have
shopping carts with three functioning wheels.
5. Movie theaters that believe
freezing temperatures and 100 db sound systems enhance the movie-going
experience.
6. Minivan drivers that have to
pass you so they can slow down and block your view of the road ahead.
7. Cable news stations that
believe Americans still want 24/7 news coverage of the "balloon boy"
story after everyone knows it was a hoax.
8. Cable news networks that run
'BREAKING NEWS' banners under stories they have been reporting for the past 8
yours.
9. The dozens of white-tailed
deer that believe my back yard is Motel 6 and my shrubs are the free morning
buffet.
10. Consumer electronics
manufacturers that introduce new, more capable products faster than I can
afford to buy them.
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